Right Now Downtown

UP YOUR ALLEY

It’s time for an etiquette lesson on bowling.  We all know that it’s impolite to shout “NICE BUNS!” when a bowler is preparing to launch the ball.  But it’s gonna take a little more finesse to roll with the crew at Downtown’s Next Big Thing.

1.  Stay in your lane.  This seems obvious, but it bears reminding.  It is not funny to send your ball rolling down your neighbor’s alley.

2.  Be ready.  Some of us like to talk.  Some of like to talk more than we like to bowl.  Regardless, it’s not nice to hold up the game while finishing up a cell phone call.

3.  Play with your own balls.  Surprisingly, this is not a bawdy rule.  Bowlers, even those with borrowed balls, tend to grow attached to the tools they’ve selected for any game.  If you’d like to try a different ball, make an official switch at the rack.

With those rules in mind, come on out – as a spectator or player, to the Athletic Club for the Downtown Bowling League.  The Club’s Marte Dobosh promises, “There are a few tables set up for spectators, and there is also a pool table and dart board – so lots of things can be happening at once:  bowling-pool-darts-drinking-eating.”

League starts on October 7. For more information on how to join the party, go to downtowncolumbus.com/experiencing.

Great cities offer great places to meditate.  When I lived in Manhattan in the 1970’s and worked in midtown, I would routinely visit the meditation room at the United Nations.  There, I would leave the roar and tension of New York and walk into an amazingly quiet room lined with stone benches.  In the center of the room, cast with very faint lighting, was a big piece of granite.  The room caused an immediate drop in blood pressure.

Downtown Columbus has some great places to meditate as well.  My favorite is the Statehouse rotunda, where I stare at the painting “Perry’s Victory” until I reach a hypnotic state of relaxation.  Like the U.N. in the 1970’s, the doors to the Statehouse are open to the public during the work week, thanks to Statehouse manager Bill Carleton.

I also enjoy the Columbus Museum of Art, the fountain at Sensenbrenner Park, and the OSU Urban Arts Space.  Simply visualizing these places makes me relax.

EMERGENCY 411

Last week’s electricity emergency was not fun.  It was not like the good ol’ days; it was not like camping.

It was more like… like being plunged into some vile prehistoric state where there are no traffic signals, washing machines or hair dryers.

This must never happen again.  Never ever.  For those of us who wish to avoid another similar emergency, there are two options.

Option Number One:  Install Solar Panels

This actually seems doable.  Some Web sites suggest that solar panels can be installed for a few thousand dollars.  Those particular panels will fuel one small toaster oven.  Sadly, it looks like household-fueling will require a bigger initial investment:  well over $50G.

Option Number Two:

You knew this was coming:  move downtown.  When compared to the rest of the city, the downtown was barely grazed.  Rich Close, President of the Downtown Residents Association, has a theory, “I believe with most of the infrastructure underground, that was our saving grace.  And more than likely with having all the government buildings and large corporations downtown, we could be on a power grid that has some type of back-up.”

Downtown Columbus:  We have the power.

Independent’s Day was a thrill to see because of all the young entrepreneurial blood it brought downtown on September 20.  One could imagine a downtown vibrant with small retail stores owned and operated by people in their 20’s or 30’s, or any age.

Like the Short North in the early 1980’s, downtown is a blank retail slate that is begging for people to fill the void.  If ever there were a place for young entrepreneurs to make their mark and establish their own turf, it is downtown here and now.

Even though downtown has a huge unmet demand for retail services (see retail study completed in June 2008), corporate chain stores are not going to supply the goods.  They run in a herd, and Columbus City Center spooked them, causing a stampede out of downtown.  That leaves the independents, which makes Independent’s Day such a significant event for downtown.

Does anyone have something they want to sell?

CRAZY URBAN PEOPLES

Oh, those crazy urban peoples – celebrating Independence Day on September 20.

Except it’s not Independence Day; it’s Independents’ Day.  Gay Street and Pearl Alley are set to house over one hundred booths from local artists and organizations, and there’s music too.

Music, art… do gooders.  You’ve seen that?  Okay, how about this:

Feminist Transportation
Drupal
Wearable Technology

The Independents’ Day event will also feature an idea convention in The Vault from noon until 7 pm.  Presenters are invited to come and present whatever brainstorm seems worthy of sharing with the universe.  It’s Mike Reed’s task to organize these presenters (and independent spirits).  When asked about some of those quirky topics, Mr. Reed was candid, “Who knows?  Not me.”

While it might be a little late in the game to sign up as a presenter, it’s not too late to volunteer for the event.  Check out thisisindependent.com to get involved and sign up.

High gas prices may save downtown and the central city.  In an August 16 editorial, The Columbus Dispatch stated, “The new inclination to avoid long commutes has led many to discover old-style urban neighborhoods that are closer to work, restaurants and other attractions and that are more conducive to a sense of community.”

“In decades of cheap gasoline and its compatriot, urban sprawl, many people never questioned the wisdom of buying big houses far from their jobs, along with big cars in which to drive to and fro.  But market forces are powerful and swift, and absent cheap gasoline, old habits, many of them bad, are changing.”

Unfortunately, central Ohio seems incapable of developing a policy that encourages people to take public transit, walk and bicycle.  Why, for example, are we spending hundreds of millions of dollars to build an expressway to Granville, knowing that this new roadway will draw residential and commercial growth from Columbus to Licking County at extremely low densities?

Why can’t we be more proactive?

TOMATO/TO-MAH-TO/SCIOTO/TOYOTA

Wait a second.

Scioto rhymes with Toyota?
What is wrong with the world?
What is wrong with the lexicons?
Name one other word that rhymes with Scioto that ends in “o.”

Time to call in an expert to explain this phenomenon.  We need Dr. Sara Garnes, OSU professor emeritus and one of the smartest linguists around.  According to Garnes, “Pronouncing Scioto like ’sciotoe’ indicates speakers know how to spell… or maybe that they aren’t acclimated to central Ohio (”ahiah”)… or maybe they’re just pretentious snobs.”

Ooopf.  Hate to be snooty.  She continues, “Pronunciations like ’sciodah’ indicate that speakers belong to the club, so to speak.  They are part of the Buckeye family.”

So glad that we’re part of a big Buckeye family – because we’re this close to taking a bath together.  The next phase of the Sciot-ah Mile project is about to kick off.  It’ll launch the development of the Promenade area where Columbus Downtown Development Corporation’s Ed Mendelson promises, “The Promenade will have a canal which people can dip their feet into.”  If that’s not enough, Bicentennial Park gets a whole big fountain for kids to romp in.

And unlike Zoombezi Bay, these waters are free.

Meanwhile, we’re still looking for words that end in “o” that rhyme with Sciotah…

The Columbus Public School District has great programs.  As the father of three city school kids, my experience has been consistently positive.  When I hear disparaging remarks about the City Schools, often by suburban parents, I wish I could respond with some convincing evidence to counter negative perceptions.

The Columbus Dispatch ran an article on August 26 that should challenge anyone’s preconceptions about Columbus Public Schools.  According to the Dispatch, Columbus Public has 33 schools that rated effective, excellent or excellent with distinction, more than any other district in central Ohio.  By comparison, Westerville has 22, Worthington 18, Hilliard 21, Olentangy 18, New Albany 4, Bexley 5, Dublin 19, Granville 4, and Upper Arlington 9.  Here’s the report card.

There are, to be sure, many struggling City schools.  Most Columbus schools are in continuous improvement, academic watch, and academic emergency, ratings that measure levels of poverty at individual schools, not the quality of their teachers.  In most suburban districts, every school is rated effective, excellent or excellent with distinction.  But parents who want to raise their children in an urban neighborhood can choose from among plenty of excellent public schools.

MY BOSS

Wanna talk to Kimberly Jones’ boss?  Talk to Kimberly Jones.  She’s her own boss of her own start-up business (and it’s about to debut downtown).  Better yet, Boss Jones is building her own dream and her own empire on a shoestring budget.

What’s her secret?  It’s pretty easy to see what the massage entrepreneur does right:

1.  Start small.  Kimberly Jones debuted her massage service, Body Mechanix at Pearl Market three years ago.  She says, “At the beginning, we’d make, maybe thirty dollars.”  Jones stuck with it, and now she’s booked-to-the-hilt on market days.

Hence, she can afford to go big-time with her new project Take Ten Body Therapy (116 N. High St.).  The stop opens next week, offering massages from 10 am until 6:30 pm.

2.  Know your market.  Jones saw that downtown clients operate on tight schedules.  While hour-long full body massages might not be right for this neighborhood, we do need ten-minute breaks.  That’s what made Jones famous.

3.  Listen to your customer.  According to Jones, “People really want us to work on the neck and back.”  So that’s what her no-nonsense team focuses on during the mini-massage.  The price is mini too: ten to twenty dollars.

Downtown development is in the business of growing dreams.  What’s your dream?

When I see chronic alcoholics, many with mental health problems, buying cheap, fortified wine and “tall boys” at the downtown CVS pharmacy, I am reminded of an experience I had several years ago with a crack house near my home.  Much like the crack house, CVS draws a crowd of bedraggled souls and creates a zone of disorder in the surrounding neighborhood.  And like the crack house, law enforcement cannot stop alcohol-related problems because penalties for open container, public intoxication and panhandling will not persuade a person with an addiction to change behavior.

Luckily, my neighbors and I convinced the landlord of the crack house to evict the dealers, and the drug-related problems in our neighborhood disappeared immediately.  No such easy solution exists with CVS.

Other beer and wine stores in the core of downtown stopped selling products with names like Hot Sex and Wild Irish Rose.  CVS, however, persists.

The next time your walk by an intoxicated, chronic alcoholic in your neighborhood, be sure to thank CVS for its contribution to your quality of life.