Inside 43215: Downtown Lifestyles
POTTY TALK
Red, White & BOOM! is here. Every year it’s the same ol’ story: go early, sit around. Sit around. Sit around. Sit around and wait for the fireworks. With the sitting, comes the drinking. And with the drinking comes…
The port-a-potty.
Given a choice between a port-a-potty and public embarrassment, the port-a-potty wins every time. But this year, it’d be nice to avoid the tall green box. It’d be nice to avoid the line and the claustrophobia and worrisome puddles. Here are three port-a-potty alternatives for Red, White & BOOM!
1. Depends. As in, Depends Adult Undergarments. They’re NASA-approved and one pair should last for the duration of the festivities. The manufacturer suggests the Fitted Maximum Protection model for the long haul.
2. Dehydration. How bad could that be? Well, okay, pretty bad. Dehydration outside on a hot summer day is a recipe for disaster. Ask Laura Flynn, a dietician at Grant Hospital. She says, “That’s just not a good idea. It throws your whole body ‘off,’ and it can be really damaging to the kidneys.” The expert says that using the port-a-potty would be better than being hospitalized. Maybe she’s got a point.
3. Patronage. There are eleven zillion businesses downtown, and most of them have bathrooms for customer use. For a couple bucks, you can support a local business and do your business in air-conditioned puddle-free comfort.
Downtown businesses, something you can depend on.
